moving

Lizi wizi is moving to a better, nicer, happier place.

http://liziwzi.blogspot.com

triggers

Coping is such a difficult thing to do, you think you've dealt with it, but each new day
brings new challenges to deal with.
I'm ok with these changes. I know the grand why, but I don't understand the small details
and I don't know how long I can keep up saying it's for the better without knowing exactly
how it is going to be for the better.
I keep on focusing on others that I lost sight of my pain. Now it has been triggered once more.
How do I deal? Do I think of it as something not meant to be? or something I need to take a leap of faith with? Am I being selfish by thinking only of myself?
What's the line between being true and being selfish anyway?
and the day goes on...

sorry

When I focused on the positive end, that doesn't mean that's all I see. You have every right to be mad and I deserve everything, but I hope in time, you'd forgive me.

You know me well and I'd be lying if I denied some of what you said. But the truth is, you mean a lot to me. It may be easier to forget if you thought otherwise, but please don't twist that basic truth. I want to make this easier, but I'm a coward. I couldn't do it another way. I didn't know another way.

I feel terrible and I'm not asking for pity. I'm not saying my pain justifies anything I did. I just want you to know the basic truth that it wasn't easy for me, that I didn't prepare for this, that this isn't as ok for me as you might think. Maybe it's easier for you to deal if you thought of me like that, but I hope that you'd see my side, too.

It's too soon for forgiveness or even to listen. I just want to say I'm sorry.

be strong, be smart

Most girls have this idea that someone will come and save them.

Problem is, they really can't be saved.

Coz the only way to be saved, is to save yourself.

I trust myself more now. It's not easy to make sacrifices and do something for people who would never know it. It's not easy to take a leap of faith - knowing that you did something for the best, but it feels weird now.

A year ago, things have taken a change for the better. This year, it's about to get even better.

Be strong, be smart.

Thanks, xxxx.

somewhere only we know

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

So if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
So why don't we go
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

The Adventure

What's on my playlist?

I wanna have the same last dream again
The one where I wake up and I'm alive
Just as the four walls close me within
My eyes are open up with pure sunlight
I'm the first to know
My dearest friends
Even if your hope has burned with time
Anything that is dead shall be re-grown
And your vicious pain, your warning sign
You will be fine
Hey oh here I am
And here we go
Life’s waiting to begin
Any type of love it will be shown
Like every single tree reach for the sky
if you're gonna fall
i'll let you know
that i will pick you up
like you for i
i felt this thing
i can't replace
when everyone was working for this goal
where all the children left without a trace
only to come back as pure as gold
to recite this all
Hey oh here I am
And here we go
Life’s waiting to begin
Tonight
Hey oh here I am
And here we go
Life’s waiting to begin
Tonight
Hey oh here I am
And here we go
Life’s waiting to begin
I can not live
I can’t breathe
Unless you do this with me
I can not live
I can’t breathe
Unless you do this with me
I can not live
I can’t breathe
Unless you do this with me
I can not live
I can’t breathe
Unless you do this with me
I can not live
I can’t breathe
Unless you do this with me
I can not live
I can’t breathe
Unless you do this with me
Hey oh, here I am (do this with me)
Here we go
life's waiting to begin (do this with me)
Hey oh, here I am (do this with me)
Here we go
life's waiting to begin
life's waiting to begin

Tolerance for Ambiguity

I decided to make a log of the lessons I learned during the week. It reminds me of where I stood and how my perspective changed during the week.
This week, I learned tolerance for ambiguity. It was a frustrating week because of conflicting
information about my training schedule and details. I was eager to learn all about my job that I wasn't able to meet my expectations. In the end, I realized that it's important be patient about information from other people and learning about my job. Like my practicum adviser said, "let's cross the bridge when we get there." As long as I know the next POSSIBLE steps, I'm ok.

Company Culture

In TheoryCompany culture in theory is as motivating and encouraging as those framed inspirational messages. In ActionWhat's more interesting is how companies create their own culture and how people hired into the company get immersed in such a culture. Somehow the culture created gets passed down through the people they hire.
Our CultureThere's a positive culture here at work. I don't hear negative statements like "Don't do this." It's always suggestive like "Pwede naman, pero usually eto ung ginagawa." It's amazing how people really don't say the D-word "Don't". I like it here.

Implicit, Explicit

Something odd happened this morning. As I was parking, the driver of the car beside mine was trying to get out of his car. He happened to be parked extremely close to my car that he couldn't get out. In his implicit frustration, he banged his door against the side of my car. Surprised, I looked at him explicitly wondering implicitly what he was trying to do. I don't have dark tints on the windows so he saw me looking. In the end, he implicitly realized that his explicit banging of the door against my car didn't send the explicit message of moving my car. It's explicitly relative. I may be parked closed to him instead of him parked closer to me, but there are explicit lines on the concrete floor. Afterwards, he finally got out and I had to explicitly look at the side where he banged my car to implicitly show my disgust.

I didn't know that there are idiots in this city.

payslips, death and taxes

I got my first ever payslip today. =) I wasn't disappointed. I never expected anything so I'm grateful for anything that comes my way. It's just a sad fact that our taxes don't come back to us... that I'll never utilize SSS, and all those contributions. Sana sa akin n lng. hahahah

21 cents

Filipinos save 21 cents out of every peso earned.

It's a fact that we don't earn enough. That's probably the reason why people migrate to other countries seeking better opportunities.

On the other hand, it's also true that they don't save enough. Most Filipinos spend more than they save. Result? At the end of the day, they're left with 21 cents out of every peso earned.

Let's bring it down to the specifics. Given a 15 thousand peso salary, they bring a car to work, pay for parking, eat lunch out. I don't think you need a calculator to count this.

Bottomline, you can never save enough when you can't control your expenditures.

so long

It's been so long since I last blogged. Now I'm already working... not much energy to spare. Anyway, it's interesting how people suddenly change interests. Some people on the other hand remain the same. So inquisitive. So devious. So difficult to question.

?

Is this what you really wanted?

We're often faced with a lot of questions and most of them involves making decisions. Some decisions we make for ourselves, others we make for others. In any decision you make, you'll always have regrets. You'll always look back and wonder what if you've done it another way. But the good thing is, at least you're sure you did what you really wanted.